rob was here.

My girlfriend and I went to the theatres last night to watch V for Vendetta. It was a great movie, but that's not the point of this post. This post is about something I noticed before the movie started; about people.

I propose that there exists a force beyond textbook Newtonian physics, that pushes people together in theatres. This force renders common sense and courtesy useless.. Even though everyone already knows these traits, in theatres, are usually checked at the door.

We got in the movie really early last night - In fact, we were the first ones in!! We took our seats at around half way up.. and sort of a little left to the centre. Awesome!







There we sat, eating our nachos (with salsa on the side) ... And an extra cheese. Hey - if you're going to actually spend the money to buy movie-food, you might as well splurge and get the benefits.

Oh, here comes some people. In walks four ganky looking bloaks who definitely appear to be the local hits at the trendiest LAN parties in town. They walk up the left hand isle.... and.. Good! They're gone back there someplace, past our isle. I didn't want people crowding up our isle this early in. But then what happens? - I notice them on the right-hand side of my peripheral vision.

What the!? They actually circled completely around an empty cinema?? What were they doing? Checking for monsters? Ack.. They are going into the isle behind us.. Okay stay over on that side. stay there.. stop.. sit down.. stop....

They sat down directly behind us. What kind of people do this? What do you say to something like that? Obviously I will eventually be sitting next to people when the theatre fills up, but the natural instinct of a human being is to respect yours (and others) breathing room in the meantime.. I mean.. there was still like 20 minutes till the movie started. I sort of glazed over my shoulder and gave them a quick scan, indicating utter confusion on my behalf.







Alright.. Well Whatever right? There's no understanding people. Me and my girlfriend continue eating and chatting (albiet in a lower tone of voice thanks to our recently purchased shoulder-monkeys).

...

After a while another young couple strolls in. Ah! People like us. If it were me and my girlfriend walking into this theatre right now, insead of them, I'd stay away from the creepy nucleus of people in the centre of the room..

Oh Jesus. What in the hell? They walk up the left hand side, into the row in front of us and sit directly in front of me and my girlfriend. They didn't even strafe just a little.

Surrounded.

What an ackward place to be. With fields of empty space in the room, we were in the dead centre of a pile of people.







This final arrangement lasted until we finished our nachos. Confused about the mental state of those flanking us, I figured there may be some other reasonable explanation for this madness. Maybe some sort of cinema gravity well was pulling people down to those awful seats. We moved left into seats 5 and 6. A little more breathing room goes a long way. After that the theatre filled up pretty normal as people wandered in.